I still have my Saudi-Arabian driver’s License. Drove on it (legally) when I came back to Nebraska to bury my dad.

My bank will confirm that the new amount on my Social Security Chcek is $666. Been called the “anti-Christ” on TV. In the dictionary meaning of the word “Christ,” the accusation is correct. Also been called “The most dangerous man in the world” and other nasty things. I claim to “influence people without making friends.”

My mother was legally married to my dad, but he was not legally married to her. That makes me a legal half-bastard. All I gotta do is figure out which half is which. Was called “a bastard” on TV once, came back with that one.

My passport has extra pages stapled in it to handle the stamps for all the places I been.

I am 85 years old. That makes me a “human antique.”

I made a living as sorts for 15 years doing “legal kidnapings.” (Child-Snatcher.) Forced new law down gagging politician’s throats with that one.

This is just the tip of a dirty iceberg. My youngest son says “Where dad is, that’s where the action is.” What others say depends on who’s “saying.” I’m one of those guys worshipped by some, hated by others, ignored by none.

Eugene Austin
104 E 3rd Street
POB 115
Tilden NE 68781-0115
402-368-5514
gaustin@cableone.net

I loved Zippy in the 70s. And still love him.

My uncle was having a nervous breakdown from his failing business.
It was my Zippy the pinhead comics that saved him.
(dont ask me how)